BFF* Barely Fucking Functional: Episode 2

Published 20/09/2020
By: xxx Published: d/m/Y


Barely fucking functional

BFF* is a never-ending email conversation between two best friends, Nadia Kandil & Carin Falk, who are trying to keep their lives together. Topics include outfit ideas, sex, what wine Nadia hates, anxiety attacks, dating, and shoe porn. BFF is a great substitute for Keeping up with the Kardashians tbh, now that there’s not going to be a next season.

Keeping up with BFF: Read previous edisode here 

Nadia and Carin are both wearing full looks by Pangaia.

Nadia is wearing a plaid jacket by Balenciaga, bike shorts by Skims and heels by Attico.

Carin is wearing full look by Acne Studios and ATP Atelier zebra heels.

Nadia Kandil

Aug 28, 2020, 10:16 AM
 Ok so, in order for me to get laid. Do you think upping my shoe game will help?

Carin Falk

Aug 29, 2020, 3:28 PM 
We are really splitting atoms here, amazing. And my answer is yes. But not with the stripper shoes from The Attico, tho. *insert picture here* I think your chances of getting laid increase immensely in those black lace-up one’s you have, you know? 

I have started to scout potential dates for you. But just so we are on the same page, are you looking for someone to shamelessly take advantage of or someone you could potentially catch feelings for? 

Carin Falk

Sep 1, 2020, 7:27 AM 
Stop ignoring me

Nadia Kandil

Sep 2, 2020, 06.37 PM 
Omg I’m so sorry! Ok I hear what you’re saying about the Attico shoes. Which lace ups are you referring to tho? *insert picture plz*

Okay, so here’s the deal with what I’m looking for. I wanna be cool and say I’d like to “shamelessly take advantage of” someone. But turns out (after endless hours of therapy) I’m not that cool. So, I guess just someone cute and kind (and handy). Lol.

Carin Falk

Sep 2, 2020, 9:37 PM 
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, HANDY!!!!! Is handy even a thing 2020? I guess so. You mean like being able to put up a shelf??? I don’t know if it’s bc I’ve had three glasses of prosecco, but I love you so much right now. Let me add handy to the checklist, babe.

These are the date shoes I’m referring to. Also, if you wear them with a skirt or a dress and you happen to go home with the person in question, I highly recommend you DON’T take off the shoes. Ok?

Alright, I think I have what I need. I love that we haven’t spoken or texted in like a week. This is the only way we communicate now, it’s what our friendship has come down to…

Nadia is wearing vintage jeans, knit by Acne Studios and heels by Sania D’Mina.

Nadia Kandil

Sep 2, 2020, 09.47 PM 
Exactly. Handy as in knowing how to use a hammer. The dilemma tho is this: Will a man checking all of the handy boxes be able to appreciate my very elaborate fashion sense lol? Like my lace-up shoes? 

Or will I have to wear rubber boots (trendy one’s ofc), but still? 

Nadia Kandil

Sep 9, 2020, 09.47 PM 
Are you ignoring me??

Thinking about buying the glove boot from Totême. Do you think I’ll get laid in those? 

Carin Falk

Sep 14, 2020, 8:18 AM 
Omg, I was busy with work and an almost deadly(?) urinary tract infection. Is that the worst thing that can happen to a woman during peacetime? I think so.

I have an announcement to make tho: there are officially no handymen in my circle of friends. I have conducted a thorough search, without any luck. But either way, re you, potentially wearing rubber boots, my answer is no. If a man can’t handle your elaborate fashion sense, he’s not an option. Even if he can mount a TV on your wall, stay away.

Are you becoming a grownup or something? I think the Glove boots are borderlines boring. You are clearly going through some kind of sartorial transition. THE CHANGE if you will. You are transforming from Justin Bieber in sweats to Mary-Kate and Ashley chic? Both equally dressed the f down, but still diametrically different.

“I don’t know if it’s bc I’ve had three glasses of prosecco, but I love you so much right now. “

Carin is wearing a vintage sports sweater.

Nadia Kandil

Sep 15, 2020, 02.39 PM 
Okay, so I have to find a dude who can handle me being weird in rubber boots (just ordered the ones from Bottega FYI) but also can take my “boring” side in the Totême glove boots. Also, should I be worried you’re calling me boring??

Whatever. Since you’re the one of us who is actually dating. What’s your sartorial strategy?

Carin Falk

Sep 16, 2020, 12:57 PM 
Ok, so my sartorial dating strategy is going through a deep crisis right now because I’m dating someone who lives in a very warm country. It causes problems because I’m not really comfortable in “summer dresses” or showing a lot of skin in general. But I’m trying. When it’s 33 degrees you just have to suckkk it up and throw on a silky kaftan from Rodebjer, you know? It’s a struggle bc if there is a context where you really want to be TrUe tO yOurSelF, it’s when you’re dating, right?

 Usually, I’d say my ultimate date outfit consists of a big football jersey, leather pants, and high heels. *Inserting reference* I love the combination of sporty and feminine. Wow, that sounded lame lol.

Stay tuned for next episode of Barely Fucking Functional.

Published 20/09/2020

Fanny Ekstrand is a writer, creative consultant and founder of Hobnob. She says she is the master of vintage shopping and knows all the pasta dishes in the world.

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